Just live only today!
It happened when I was in elementary school. On my way home from school, my friends asked me to play. But I refused and ran home. Because I didn’t have time to play with my friends. It was a waste of time to play with friends because I had to spend time alone reading and imagining when I came home. I was a child with a strong sense of self. Even after graduating from college and getting a job, I did not adjust well to organizational life. It was very painful to have to spend my time with others.
To make time for myself, I quit my job and decided to get married instead. As a housewife, I thought I could use my time at home, reading books, studying the language, and exercising at my will, but it was not easy after having two children and raising them. Life didn’t go my way. I was a mother who regretted wasting my precious time with my children. So, even when the children were young, I tried to develop myself by studying English and reading books in my spare time. When the children asked me to play, I was annoyed.
My two sons are now teenagers. I also had a lot of free time. Then, I started to look back on my habits through meditation. I have lived for 47 years, constantly studying and working hard, so why am I empty? Why can’t I be proud of myself? I have a question like this However, I recently found the answer and I am going to share it with you all.
After meditating, looking back on the day, and looking back at my mind, I had a lot of things to write in my diary. Then I looked back on my obsession with time. From a young age, time was the only thing I had control over. When I was young, my parents were poor, so they couldn’t give me pocket money. Time was the only thing I could do as I wanted because I was hungry and wanted many things. I was a child with many dreams, after going to school and imagining reading and rereading the 10 or so books I had at home. I was happy because I had time that no one could take away, and I also developed an obsession.
This habit becomes so hard that I get angry when my time is invaded by my children’s parenting.
But when I kept a diary and wrote about how I lived today, I realized that I was wasting a lot of time. I overslept because I was tired, and I spent a lot of time watching TV blankly saying that it gave me a break from thinking. I also learned that I have a habit of prioritizing things that need to be done right away, and then putting it off until the next day without ever getting it done.
I was able to discover this habit thanks to the meditation of looking back on myself. Let go of the habit of wasting time on meditation. And because I have a desire to change myself, I have the power to change my behavior. I need to get enough sleep, so I try to go to bed early without needlessly watching YouTube videos. Then I can get up at 8 in the morning.
Instead of idly watching TV, I talk while watching a program that I can watch with my children. And when I think of something to do, I try to do it right away without procrastinating. Make a note of what to do in advance and do my best to do it that day.
If you do your job and go to sleep, you can sleep very comfortably. And you’re proud of yourself. If I do my best every day like this, won’t a good day come one day?
