Thanks for an interesting question. Yes. It’s true that not everyone likes us. Realizing this might make us feel angry, misunderstood or misjudged. It can surely feel very unfair or saddening to meet a person who genuinely hates us.
Start with the self’s reaction to other people’s hate
I have found that whatever difficulty I encounter in life, the best approach is to start with myself because the source of the problem is not other people, it is me.
Let’s say that you found out that a person doesn’t like you. This will trigger a response within you. Observe what minds that circumstance brings up inside you. You will probably sense anger, sadness, and feelings of being misunderstood or unfairly treated. Be honest with yourself.
See how trapped you are. See how these minds make darkness close in on you, how your perspective disappears and how life becomes small and gloomy. Happiness appears far away. But ask yourself: Where is this drama taking place? The answer is: It happens in your mind. Again, ask yourself: Why does this happen? The answer is: Because of the content of your mind.
The solution is to clear the mind by letting go of whatever emotions the mind holds. By letting go, I don’t mean to shove away you emotions or suppressing them. I mean to fully embrace all aspects of yourself, even the painful ones. See the underlying fear, hatred, anger. Accept them and let them go. Let them burn and disappear.
This is meditation. Introspection, acknowledgement/acceptance, and finally release. Over time, the mind changes naturally and other people’s opinions about you will no longer torment you. You will focus on what you can do in life, without being pulled or affected by other people’s negative emotions.
Become genuinely likeable
But there’s more. As you progress in your meditation, you will be able to see another aspect of yourself. Namely, the aspect that causes other people to dislike or hate you.
Most people emit a negative energy (I call it energy in lack of better words). We are like thorny bushes: as soon as something doesn’t fit our mind, the monster comes out. This negative energy is based on the minds of inferiority and pride along with different expressions of those minds such as bitterness, wants/desires, meekness, wanting to know best, etc.
These negative minds make us become unlikeable and painful to be around, and we need to make it a priority to repent these minds truly. It will take time and be painful, but it is very rewarding. When inferiority and pride are cleared from our minds, other people’s pride will not get activated by us; their hatred towards us will disappear or significantly reduce. It happens because we have changed. We no longer close other people out; instead we are open and accepting towards others. We are honest and treat them with sincerity. We don’t compete or try to win, and we don’t seek anything from them. We act with wisdom and we naturally and genuinely wish others well. All this happens without self-interest.
Meditation is the way forward. The key is to be brutally honest with yourself. Always seek to accept full responsibility for your life situation. You created the situation; even other people’s hatred is your own hatred. Accept this and meditate until your mind is cleared.
Best of luck!
